the only thing that makes sense to me

The only thing that makes sense to me at the minute is the pleasure of helping others. I'm frustrated with religion and institution. I'm frustrated with drunkenness and broken relationships. Both at opposite ends of the scale that people seem to fall into to find satisfaction in life. I just want help people and have fun. Maybe that's why James gives clear instructions as follows:

'Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.' James 1v27

That's the religion I want.

Facebook

I've decided to give up Facebook for Lent. For some people this might seem like an easy thing to do but Facebook is something I really enjoy and would check out everyday to keep in touch with friends and share some banter. Sometimes when things happen in life I imagine how I'll word it for my status update to let friends and family know e.g. freezing showers are not fun or about to make a delicious chocolate fudge cake (both of which happened yesterday!)

So although I perhaps don't feel a huge strain as I would if I were missing chocolate, etc I do miss it and do feel a sense of sacrifice. I guess for me that is the whole point of the self denial. In the meantime I hope to use the time I would be on Facebook to write letters of encouragement to friends. Last night I wrote 3 and from it I feel God has reinforced His message to me to hold in there and take each achievement or breakthrough, whatever size, and use it to build upon, for Christ's Kingdom.

'Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.

As they pass through the Valley of Baca, they make it a place of springs; the autumn rains also cover it with pools.

They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion.'

Psalm 84 v 5-7

Here's to pushing out all that distracts us from the close communion with God that enriches our body, mind and soul :)

'Lord, I give you my heart

I give you my soul,

I live for you alone.

Every breath I take

Every moment I'm awake

Have your way in me.'

Darlene Zschech

When what goes around DOES NOT come around.

I guess a lot of people take comfort in the phrase, 'what goes around, comes around.' I heard recently a friend got his savings stolen. He started ranting about how he hopes it'll bring them bad luck whatever they buy with it, etc. I guess we're taught that all actions have consequences and bad actions have bad results. For the most part I think this is true. However what about the times when we see people do bad things and they come up smelling of roses? In work I heard about a business collegue who becomes bankrupt leaving their partner with the debt...and goes on to get a good job and not helping to pay any of the debt as he's 'free' from it now. I hear about people that smoke 40 a day and are rarely sick. It hardly seems fair and perhaps we'll never see what has 'gone' around, coming around.

Then I read about an old rabbinic parable which goes something like this...

A King has two sons. One he loves and one he tolerates. He buys gifts for them and summons them to collect them. The first son arrives at the door and the King sends his messenger to give him the gift straight away and he leaves. The second son arrives who the King loves and he isn't given his gift. Instead the son comes in and spends time with the King and they enjoy each others company until the son is comfortable enough in his father's presence to reach and take the gift for himself.

There are many things to draw out of this story, but the main one is that sometimes even though we do good God doesn't always give us what we want and through these times we really draw near to him to find out what he is saying to us and form that close relationship. Whereas if we get all we want we become self sufficient and ignore God. Often when we get close to our Maker...we can find that our truest wish is to be satisfied in His presence and our momentary problems shrink to insignificance. I think this is better than the one who seems to get off 'scott free.'

'As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.' Isaiah 55v9

Mirror Mirror

Just finished reading the book 'Mirror, Mirror.' It was tough going as it made you look deep into your insecurities and see what makes you tick. What really struck me was how looking at myself in God's word I have a steady opinion of myself. However around other people it can vary: praise makes me feel more confident and happier; criticism makes me feel low and unappreciated. So the advice it gives is this: when you get praise, thank God for giving you great gifts to serve Him and enjoy; when you get criticism it should just remind you that you are sinful and that God's grace covers it. I am the same person with the same strengths and weaknesses in every situation so I shouldn't fluctuate with people's comments.

The other day in work I did something wrong and someone nicely told me what I needed to fix. I took a deep breath and thought, 'Yea I'm sinful. I'll try not to do that again. I'm still the same person who gets praise from helping others in work.' It actually really helped. I wouldn't say I'm fully secure in who I am, but I would say that I'm definitely on a journey to a better place with my identity.

In Church we say we should help those that struggle but when someone does something wrong we are often quick to jump and perhaps think they are not sincere in their faith. We would probably have a better self image in church if we were free to share our mistakes and failings; not making our wrongs acceptable but something to share and deal with.

But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

1st Samuel 16 v7

Randy Gandhi

So i'm reading Gandhi's autobiography and it's a really good read. He's done amazing things and is someone who is known for not letting this world master him...yet i was pretty shocked to find out he was one randy guy. And at the same time I found it refreshing. It's the same with Martin Luther King...he was riddled with self doubt but trusted in God and He saw him through! I think I let the devil get a grip on me with guilt too much. I need to seek God's grace and realise I'm not prefect and never will be in this life but must press on to the amazing stuff.

NB It must be said that Gandhi did also learn to control this... in fact he abstained for the most part of his life.

'If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.' 1 John 1v8